What does it mean when your spouse says they still love you but they are not in love and they want a divorce?

The spouse still cares about your health and welfare but states you need to move on. Is this some new dialect of crazy?What does it mean when your spouse says they still love you but they are not in love and they want a divorce?
no, it makes perfect sense. it means that they care about you as a person, but are not in love with you. the same way you feel about friends, or co-workers. you like them, don't want to see any thing bad happen to them, you wish them the best, but that's all there is to the relationship. you won't be there to hold them when they are sad, or go through life with them as a partner, it's just not that deep.


it means it's over. at least he's trying to be decent about it.What does it mean when your spouse says they still love you but they are not in love and they want a divorce?
Your spouse needs to understand the difference between romantic love and companionate love.





Romantic love is the fire, passion, butterflies as well as the insecurity, jealousy, mistrust of a relationship. It is the excitement of somebody new who you are just discovering. Usually one is more prone to expect their partner to change OR to change to better match their partner in romantic love. It is how it begins, and the doorway to the actual goal: Companionate Love.





Companionate love is the day to day; it is real life. It's secure, unbiased, stable, comforting, knowing and faithful. This is truly the goal of any coupling.





The problem is that romantic love is what is ';romanticized'; in movies, novels and general media. So we grow up waiting for the butterflies and magic nights that are FALLING in love. Once we're there, we think that the love is gone, and since there are so few examples of faithful love these days, it seems that divorce is actually an acceptable route.





I suggest marriage counseling to help open his eyes. If your spouse married you, then they truly do OWE you that. If they are unmoving on not even trying, suggest a separation of 6 months to one year before agreeing to discuss divorce. If they still want a divorce, I would begin to strongly suspect that something sneaky and devious were going on. Perhaps another lover, or some bizarre angle toward financial gain.





Good luck to you and yours. I hope the best.
In a way U could say that our society promotes this type of thinking.


People do not try as hard to make things work out long term. It is also a part of the ';me'; type mentality. Your spouse has found someone else that has caught their attention. Or just wants to be shed of you so that they can pursue more exciting adventures.


When my husband proposed a divorce two years ago, he stated very quickly that he would help me ease into my new role as single by helping me out financially, until I either got a better job or retired and started collecting retirement benefits. Then when I found a place to live and changed my address, and started moving my things out, he changed his mind, and said maybe we could work things out. He still had ads on the Internet on several dating sites, so I told him I wasn't sure this would work out. But I did so want o stay and finish raising my last child, so I started going to counseling and we are still together. But this rarely happens after one partner says they are no longer ';in love';. U have to be able to have similar goals and dreams to hang onto a long term relationship. I'm still not sure why we are still together. Maybe he did not want to split our land and home 50/50. I will never know what he was really thinking I guess. U might have a chance IF there is no other romantic interest. But some partners do like to roam because of human nature thinking the grass is always greener on the other side. If U guys can sit down and talk and recommit to each other, AND there is no other person sexually, then U might have a slim chance to save this relationship.
when someone uses the word ';but';, you should ignore everything before the but and listen carefully to everything that follows it. sounds like this:





';.... i am not in love with you and i want a divorce. ......... you need to move on.';





pretty clear no?
I guess I think about it this way. Thinking back on my exgirlfriends...there is still a place in my heart for some of them. I care they are doing well in life, are healthy etc....Would I grab them, kiss them and hold them..no.


So I think that yes- I still love them, but not ';in love'; anymore.
Honestly, I think it's a bunch of BS when people say that, but what I think the spouse means is that they still care about you and care about your well being, but they don't want to be a part of your life anymore. That doesn't really make much sense does it?
It means they are in the habit of caring for you, and wanting the best for you, but a couple of years from now, and a new squeeze in tow, that feeling will fade away. Get on with it, is the important part of the message.
Na, he isn't going to admit it to you but there is a female involved. This is just a line that they use so they won't look like an ***.
I think it is just as you put it. The spouse cares about their husband/wife but they are no longer 'in love' with them. When they say you need to move on they want a divorce.