Everytime I see my husband focusing on his work it makes me want to just jump and kiss him... I dont know what it is, maybe the fact he doesn't know I am watching him but it makes me just sigh... and smile so big... %26lt;3
What's makes you sigh?What about your spouse or love makes you sigh?
when he brushes the hair out of my eyes stops to stare at me and then his hand creeps up cradles my face right before he kisses me.
This is not helping at all =[What about your spouse or love makes you sigh?
This weekend, my husband and I worked together to accomplish two things: clean up the house and grill enough food to last for the next few days. I was in the kitchen preparing the food for him to grill and he was running the vacuum cleaner.
I also love it when he gets up in the middle of the night to let the dogs outside to relieve themselves. That way, my sleep is not disturbed.
He's such a great husband and there is nothing that I wouldn't do to make him feel as loved as he makes me feel.
Life is good!
what gives me that feeling is when my husband actually listens to me and he does sweet things for me; and then sometimes when he is just sleeping and I look at him and I think about all we have been through and that we are making it and that we are still together no matter what that just makes me feel good.
Hehe.
Its so funny because, ever since the beginning of our marriage, he called me ';sweetheart'; and this included when we were arguing as well.
He be saying, at the top of his voice..';But SWEETHEART, I really don't think .. and so on and so on..';
It just melted all my arguments. But don't let him know I told you that.** wink**
sandy
So many things....
When he's playing guitar...
When he's talking to one of the kids....
When he looks at me that certain way...
When he comes up behind me in the kitchen...
I'm still amazed that after knowing him for over 20 years, I still feel like I do. :)
I love seeing him with our kids. It can be him cuddling the baby, teaching our son how to play baseball, or dancing around with our middle daughter. He's just such an amazing father! I'm a very lucky woman.
well with my wife she says when i am asleep i am really cut what ever that means and when i am consternating on something too :( idk what that means but for me its when my wife is cooking or just cuddling togeather.......
Watching him with his newborn daughter. Especially when she wakes in the middle of the night and he doesn't hesitate to get up.
Well what makes me sigh is when my husband is cooking, working on his car, or cleaning you know just being a man basically
When he comes home from a long days work and bends down to give me a great big kiss and hug..Sigh...
The idea my wife would feel that way about me, makes me sigh.
I'm not married, but I saw you on AIM with your status message. Hehe So sweet!
I'm not married, but I'm sure I'll have my ';secret diary of sighs'; when I do!
Cheers, missy! %26lt;3
When he is sleeping and snoring softly.
His smile!
My partner thinking about how to solve a problem. He pulls the sweetest faces.
inert smart assed comment here
His very thought...popping into my mind.
Him...and my daughter dancing around our living room, singing Hannah Montana at the top of her lungs!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Married Couples - Has your spouse ever cut a fart in their sleep?
When one of you is snoozing and the other is puttering, reading, watching the tv, etc.,.... did your other half let one go - while they were in dreamland? Did you get up an run into the other room or did you wake your honey with your own laughter?
*Would they deny that they have broken wind in their sleep?
*Which ones do they let off more often,...... The Silent but Deadly, The Slow Bubbling Leak,... The Noisy but Harmless,... or The Sloppy Loud'n' Nasty -makes your eyes water while you gasp for air, . . .
Well, I am curious and I would like to share a laugh too.
And yes, one of my Ex's has fessed-up %26amp; told me I have done it too, between gufaws of laughter.Married Couples - Has your spouse ever cut a fart in their sleep?
yes yes yes yes yes
lmaoooooooo
and i know ive done it too
once i woke up because i was farting outloud
(i think it woke me up because this is something i really worry about)
of course i wanted to just die at the time but when i was alone, later, (and now) i had to laugh at myselfMarried Couples - Has your spouse ever cut a fart in their sleep?
yep i have done a ton of times, my live-in gf said i fart all the time, but hey i fart all the time when I'm up, The Fart is the best way to get someone to laugh, unless there to uptight or have no sense of humor, i laugh my butt of at movies that supply a good farting scene, like Larry the cable guys movie, WOOHOO the best
Oh Yes!
she did
think positive
*Would they deny that they have broken wind in their sleep?
*Which ones do they let off more often,...... The Silent but Deadly, The Slow Bubbling Leak,... The Noisy but Harmless,... or The Sloppy Loud'n' Nasty -makes your eyes water while you gasp for air, . . .
Well, I am curious and I would like to share a laugh too.
And yes, one of my Ex's has fessed-up %26amp; told me I have done it too, between gufaws of laughter.Married Couples - Has your spouse ever cut a fart in their sleep?
yes yes yes yes yes
lmaoooooooo
and i know ive done it too
once i woke up because i was farting outloud
(i think it woke me up because this is something i really worry about)
of course i wanted to just die at the time but when i was alone, later, (and now) i had to laugh at myselfMarried Couples - Has your spouse ever cut a fart in their sleep?
yep i have done a ton of times, my live-in gf said i fart all the time, but hey i fart all the time when I'm up, The Fart is the best way to get someone to laugh, unless there to uptight or have no sense of humor, i laugh my butt of at movies that supply a good farting scene, like Larry the cable guys movie, WOOHOO the best
Oh Yes!
she did
think positive
How to deal with spouse with baby crying?
I'm not sure how to help my husband. I get upset when he gets upset when our son cries after putting him to bed. Our son has always been very fussy-had colic at birth, was super fussy when teething/or has gas. We've tried everything, and end up with not so much sleep. (He's 18months) I just really want to know what to do because anytime our son cries, my husband gets stressed and sometimes mad. Not violent. Then I get upset with him, and it's really pulling us apart. He tells me a lot of it is working 50-60hrs a week so I can stay home with our son, yet I also work a few days a week as well to help out. The thing is, I need a break here and there.I dont' like my husband to be stressed, because our son will keep crying when he is. So I always end up getting him and taking over. It stresses me out that I have to do this. I don't want this to ruin our relationship, but I feel he is letting it. We don't have fam around,not many friends.I am clueless what to do to help my husband.How to deal with spouse with baby crying?
I am going through the same thing only my daughter is 4 yrs old. My husband cant stand for her to whine or cry about things, she is very sensitive. When she cries he wants her to stop immediately. He doesnt get violent or anything, it just stresses him too. I just have to talk to him and say it is ok for her to cry let her be and she will stop on her own. I tell him to go outside for a minute or something. Im like you I have to take over too. My husband has just had to see that letting her cry a little doesnt hurt and in the end it is better than trying to get her to stop before she is ready to. He has gotten better over the years, it just takes time. It put a strain on our relationship too but it has gotten better. Just talk to your husband about it and let him see that it is ok for him to cry and then with time it will get better. Good Luck!!How to deal with spouse with baby crying?
Babies are tough. This will probably get better as your son gets older and can communicate with more than just screaming. Some people just aren't equipped to deal with the stress of a baby, and you can't force it on someone. Explain to your husband what all the stress HE causes you is doing, and that he needs to cut you a little slack. Everyone needs to pull their weight.
You know, the way I see it, being a mother IS the hardest job on earth. Being that you both know how difficult your son can be at times (mine being the exact same way) you would think that your husband would want to take some of the stress off of you. My hubby was the same way until I flat out told him that he needed to help because I was near the end of my wits. I also let him see what a day with our son was like. Meaning I let him try and control our son and just sat back and said to myself, I need a break and it's time he started looking after him so he knows what I go through in a day. Now, things are so much better in terms of my hubby helping to look after our son. When my hubby gets home, he immediately takes over and tries to give me a break. Maybe you need to let your hubby see what you go through in a day to realize that you don't have it so easy and maybe he too will want to give you a much needed break.
I work full time and I'm on baby duty 100% of the time that baby isn't in daycare (8 hours a day m-f).
So, ya, I understand about needing a break...If your husband hasn't come around and gotten on board after 18 months...I really don't know that he's going to if things continue as they have been ...
My husband used to get frustrated too...it lasted about two months before he stopped getting pissy after the baby got fussy...
That of course was after I told him that we HAD a baby...so he could no longer BE THE BABY...
And hello, wake up call folks...kids cry...it's part of the package. Did he not get the memo on that detail? Did he not notice at the hospital nursery?
Yes its frustrating...but that's life...and I think you both have to realize that getting frustrated and getting mad doesn't fix anything...it jsut makes things worse.
Address it at the time that it happens without any anger on your side.
When he gets like that ...have you ever just asked him...';I know it's frustrating...imagine how I feel...do you think getting mad is making it easier?';
The baby can feel your moods...if you get aggitated...he'll get aggitated...so getting pissy..only makes your situation worse.
Get your husband some parenting books...here's a good one
http://www.howtobehave.com/
It's a little early for the baby ...but the concept will be good training for the daddy.
The first thing I would do is work on a consistent bed time routine. My son cried everynight when we put him down. After 8 months, my husband finally agreed a routine was best. I started with a 45 minute routine of bath (sometimes), then while changing him for bed, I would put on various soft music CD's. Then I would let him play with some quiet toys in his room for maybe 5 minutes. We would look at 3 books and then i would rock him for 5-10 minutes. When he seemed settled but not asleep, i would put him in the crib say good night and leave. Initially he would cry, but after some time the crying stopped and I gradually took each element away until it takes about 5 minutes to get him to bed. My husband even has his own little thing he does with my son. If crying bothers both of you, then go outside or on another part of the house, check on him every 15 minutes, just by listening. My son is a smarty pants, and when he hears the floor creek near his room, he would stop crying to see if we were coming in.
I understand your son was collically when he was little, but he is overthat now. He is primarily crying because he is getting rewarded for that behavior. Comforting him everytime he cries at night, will only increase his crying. If something is truely wrong there will be a distinctive cry.
Do not respond to every little cry. If he isn't hurt, hungary or really wet, he is crying to get attention.
To help your husband, try helping him find a fun activity he can do with your son. For example, my husband shares a bowl of ice cream with my son most nights, (not the best habit i know). He also wrestles with him, takes him outside to do chores or looks at books with him. The more positive attention your son gets from his dad, the less fussing he will do.
I know how easy it is to intervene when Daddy is the caretaker, but you are right you need your time. And think about how he would cope if you were not around all of the sudden. My husband had a lot of new perspectives as far as taking care of my son after I was in the hospital having our second son.
One of our biggest supports has been my church. I do not know about your religious beliefs, most of my friends come from there. I have had many offers to watch my sons when I need a break. Plus, my friends are more experienced moms, who have great insight into my feelings. And if nothing else it is just great to have someone listen to me.
Ensure as much as you need kid free time, ensure your husband has that as well. We have found more stuff is accomplished in a day when we take turns being the parent. Encourage your husband to go out for a beer sometime after work with a friend.
I hope these ideas help.
If it was you that was working 50-60 hours a week you would probably be complaining that you were also expected to take care of the baby. This is your life right now. Just remember life is all about ups and downs. Just enjoy your baby and be supportive of your hard working husband..at least he has a job and you're not a single mom, THAT would be really hard.
Your husband is clearly stating he doesn't want to wake up in the middle of the night. Mine didn't either. You can either sleep in your son's room or you can place your son's bed in your room. He is still young and won't wake up so sad, if he knows you are there. When he starts sleeping through the night, you can change the sleeping arrangement. Good luck!
Well, I am a mother of 3 boys. My mom passed 13 yrs ago which was the tie that binded our family. After she passed, my dad did not do anything for my kids. My fiancee is disabled and cant work, so he is ';Mr. Mom'; things get very stessful. He gets an attitude and starts saying things he dont mean. So just dealing with this now for at least 8 years, it has become a normal routine in my life. I just gather the kids and be mom, dad and grandparents all in one shot. I still love him, but our relationship teeters often. I have finally just broke down and asked my best friend for a break once every week or two. Then him and I either go out for a couple hours, or just come home and find ways to spend with eachother.
Remember, things will not always be like this, but as for right now, I suggest being the stronger person and remain calm. As wifes/mothers, no matter what, we always end up doing more. What my husband and I do is set days of the week when I get to relax, and days when he does. i.e. he does bath night Tue %26amp; Thurs., I get to rest and be away from our daughter for that time (even if I am doing dishes, atleast I cannot hear her whine :) Also, Sat morning , I sleep in, Sun. morning, he sleeps in. Try scheduling. It works for me. Good luck and stay calm. Your baby needs you to relax since your husband is struggling to right now.blue mask makeup books
I am going through the same thing only my daughter is 4 yrs old. My husband cant stand for her to whine or cry about things, she is very sensitive. When she cries he wants her to stop immediately. He doesnt get violent or anything, it just stresses him too. I just have to talk to him and say it is ok for her to cry let her be and she will stop on her own. I tell him to go outside for a minute or something. Im like you I have to take over too. My husband has just had to see that letting her cry a little doesnt hurt and in the end it is better than trying to get her to stop before she is ready to. He has gotten better over the years, it just takes time. It put a strain on our relationship too but it has gotten better. Just talk to your husband about it and let him see that it is ok for him to cry and then with time it will get better. Good Luck!!How to deal with spouse with baby crying?
Babies are tough. This will probably get better as your son gets older and can communicate with more than just screaming. Some people just aren't equipped to deal with the stress of a baby, and you can't force it on someone. Explain to your husband what all the stress HE causes you is doing, and that he needs to cut you a little slack. Everyone needs to pull their weight.
You know, the way I see it, being a mother IS the hardest job on earth. Being that you both know how difficult your son can be at times (mine being the exact same way) you would think that your husband would want to take some of the stress off of you. My hubby was the same way until I flat out told him that he needed to help because I was near the end of my wits. I also let him see what a day with our son was like. Meaning I let him try and control our son and just sat back and said to myself, I need a break and it's time he started looking after him so he knows what I go through in a day. Now, things are so much better in terms of my hubby helping to look after our son. When my hubby gets home, he immediately takes over and tries to give me a break. Maybe you need to let your hubby see what you go through in a day to realize that you don't have it so easy and maybe he too will want to give you a much needed break.
I work full time and I'm on baby duty 100% of the time that baby isn't in daycare (8 hours a day m-f).
So, ya, I understand about needing a break...If your husband hasn't come around and gotten on board after 18 months...I really don't know that he's going to if things continue as they have been ...
My husband used to get frustrated too...it lasted about two months before he stopped getting pissy after the baby got fussy...
That of course was after I told him that we HAD a baby...so he could no longer BE THE BABY...
And hello, wake up call folks...kids cry...it's part of the package. Did he not get the memo on that detail? Did he not notice at the hospital nursery?
Yes its frustrating...but that's life...and I think you both have to realize that getting frustrated and getting mad doesn't fix anything...it jsut makes things worse.
Address it at the time that it happens without any anger on your side.
When he gets like that ...have you ever just asked him...';I know it's frustrating...imagine how I feel...do you think getting mad is making it easier?';
The baby can feel your moods...if you get aggitated...he'll get aggitated...so getting pissy..only makes your situation worse.
Get your husband some parenting books...here's a good one
http://www.howtobehave.com/
It's a little early for the baby ...but the concept will be good training for the daddy.
The first thing I would do is work on a consistent bed time routine. My son cried everynight when we put him down. After 8 months, my husband finally agreed a routine was best. I started with a 45 minute routine of bath (sometimes), then while changing him for bed, I would put on various soft music CD's. Then I would let him play with some quiet toys in his room for maybe 5 minutes. We would look at 3 books and then i would rock him for 5-10 minutes. When he seemed settled but not asleep, i would put him in the crib say good night and leave. Initially he would cry, but after some time the crying stopped and I gradually took each element away until it takes about 5 minutes to get him to bed. My husband even has his own little thing he does with my son. If crying bothers both of you, then go outside or on another part of the house, check on him every 15 minutes, just by listening. My son is a smarty pants, and when he hears the floor creek near his room, he would stop crying to see if we were coming in.
I understand your son was collically when he was little, but he is overthat now. He is primarily crying because he is getting rewarded for that behavior. Comforting him everytime he cries at night, will only increase his crying. If something is truely wrong there will be a distinctive cry.
Do not respond to every little cry. If he isn't hurt, hungary or really wet, he is crying to get attention.
To help your husband, try helping him find a fun activity he can do with your son. For example, my husband shares a bowl of ice cream with my son most nights, (not the best habit i know). He also wrestles with him, takes him outside to do chores or looks at books with him. The more positive attention your son gets from his dad, the less fussing he will do.
I know how easy it is to intervene when Daddy is the caretaker, but you are right you need your time. And think about how he would cope if you were not around all of the sudden. My husband had a lot of new perspectives as far as taking care of my son after I was in the hospital having our second son.
One of our biggest supports has been my church. I do not know about your religious beliefs, most of my friends come from there. I have had many offers to watch my sons when I need a break. Plus, my friends are more experienced moms, who have great insight into my feelings. And if nothing else it is just great to have someone listen to me.
Ensure as much as you need kid free time, ensure your husband has that as well. We have found more stuff is accomplished in a day when we take turns being the parent. Encourage your husband to go out for a beer sometime after work with a friend.
I hope these ideas help.
If it was you that was working 50-60 hours a week you would probably be complaining that you were also expected to take care of the baby. This is your life right now. Just remember life is all about ups and downs. Just enjoy your baby and be supportive of your hard working husband..at least he has a job and you're not a single mom, THAT would be really hard.
Your husband is clearly stating he doesn't want to wake up in the middle of the night. Mine didn't either. You can either sleep in your son's room or you can place your son's bed in your room. He is still young and won't wake up so sad, if he knows you are there. When he starts sleeping through the night, you can change the sleeping arrangement. Good luck!
Well, I am a mother of 3 boys. My mom passed 13 yrs ago which was the tie that binded our family. After she passed, my dad did not do anything for my kids. My fiancee is disabled and cant work, so he is ';Mr. Mom'; things get very stessful. He gets an attitude and starts saying things he dont mean. So just dealing with this now for at least 8 years, it has become a normal routine in my life. I just gather the kids and be mom, dad and grandparents all in one shot. I still love him, but our relationship teeters often. I have finally just broke down and asked my best friend for a break once every week or two. Then him and I either go out for a couple hours, or just come home and find ways to spend with eachother.
Remember, things will not always be like this, but as for right now, I suggest being the stronger person and remain calm. As wifes/mothers, no matter what, we always end up doing more. What my husband and I do is set days of the week when I get to relax, and days when he does. i.e. he does bath night Tue %26amp; Thurs., I get to rest and be away from our daughter for that time (even if I am doing dishes, atleast I cannot hear her whine :) Also, Sat morning , I sleep in, Sun. morning, he sleeps in. Try scheduling. It works for me. Good luck and stay calm. Your baby needs you to relax since your husband is struggling to right now.
I have a uk spouse settlment visa do I need a work permit?
I live in the UK with my husband. I'm waiting for my national insurance number but I really want to work now. Can I work? Do I need a work permit? Do I have to wait for the National Insurance Number?I have a uk spouse settlment visa do I need a work permit?
your spouse settlement visa acts as permission to work. You can start work now without an NI number, but you will have to pay more tax. when you get your NI number, you can claim back the extra tax.I have a uk spouse settlment visa do I need a work permit?
you must wait.or get a permit...
your spouse settlement visa acts as permission to work. You can start work now without an NI number, but you will have to pay more tax. when you get your NI number, you can claim back the extra tax.I have a uk spouse settlment visa do I need a work permit?
you must wait.or get a permit...
I am marrying my US Fiance next March. Am English - How do i go about getting a spouse visa for the UK ?
We are planning a US wedding with the intention of her joining me in England after wards. Will this be a lengthy process and where do i start ?I am marrying my US Fiance next March. Am English - How do i go about getting a spouse visa for the UK ?
http://www.ukvisas.gov.uk/en/howtoapply/鈥?/a>
http://www.ukvisas.gov.uk/en/howtoapply/鈥?/a>
How much money will we get back after filing injured spouse form one wage family?
my husband and i just had to file an injured spouse because the irs offset our refund due to my very old student loans (before i knew him)
since he was the only wage earner on our return will we still get the same refund amount once the form 8379 is processed? Can they take any of his money paid in taxes to pay my old loans? we do not live in a communicable property state. will it change our refund amount?How much money will we get back after filing injured spouse form one wage family?
if all the refund was his then he will get all of the money back.
since he was the only wage earner on our return will we still get the same refund amount once the form 8379 is processed? Can they take any of his money paid in taxes to pay my old loans? we do not live in a communicable property state. will it change our refund amount?How much money will we get back after filing injured spouse form one wage family?
if all the refund was his then he will get all of the money back.
How do you choose to be in love with your spouse?
I very often see advice on this message board telling people that ';love is a choice.'; I don't understand how that works -- please give examples of how when you fell out of love with your spouse you chose to fall back in love, and how you made that happen.How do you choose to be in love with your spouse?
It's not so much a matter of choosing to be in love with your spouse. It's about making a choice to make your love work together. Many times in a marriage, you encounter things you don't understand in your spouse. Marriage is a growing endeavor, always evolving and working through things. You continue to grow and your spouse continues to grow. Sometimes people grow apart - and that's when the choice comes into play. You may be thinking differently than you used to and your spouse may not understand it, or it could be your spouse does something you don't understand. At that point - it's important to look deep into yourself and look - really look at your spouse and try to understand what has happened.
There's and old saying - ';Familiarity breeds contempt';. That phrase is something to ponder in a marriage and is often the cause of most break-ups. We get comfortable and forget to do the small things we used to do, or start to take the other person for granted. That starts to build up into bad feelings which can lead to disaster in a marriage.
It's very important to nurture the marriage, but if you find yourself in a situation where everything seems overwhelming and the only way is out - it's time to soul-search and remember why you fell in love. After that, you figure out what you need to do to recapture those early feelings. Your mate should be your best friend, and treated better than anyone else around you. The same applies to your mate.
The choosing to be in love means going through the soul-searching and deciding it is worth the effort to make it work. Through better or worse.
Good Luck.How do you choose to be in love with your spouse?
Any commitment is a choice. Falling in love is the easy part.
I recommend ';Five Love Languages'; www.fivelovelanguages.com
I choose to love my wife. I chose to marry my wife because she completes me. We are nearly exact opposites. She likes lists and is organized. I fly by the seat of my pants on most stuff. She panics before and during a time of crisis. I get through crisis and then fall apart. I'm easy going, she's uptight. I'm a squiggle, she's a square.
I love her for who she is, what she is, and how she is.
You have to choose to love what you're not.
Well if you feel like you have butterflys every time you see him ,hear him,or touch him ,thats a sign of love.At least for me anyway.Love is a feeling you have for some one.Its not really a choice.
you can't ''choose'' to be in love..it's just happens..
Love isn't a choice. Either you love someone or you don't.
Love is a choice because love is definitive. It is in daily acts of faithfulness like keeping the home clean for one another, cookin for one another, complimenting one another, giving to one another, bein considerate of one another, choosing to do these kinds of things is choosin ot express your love for your spouse. Thats how making the choice to love works.
';Fallin in love'; or ';falling out of love'; is not possible. Falling is itself usually not a choice but rather an accident Thus falling in love would be accidentaly lovin someone and that is not possible. Love is a choice.
You never know who you're getting your advice from on Y!A. Notice that the people who actually understand the concept of ';choosing to love'; someone tend to actually be married. The people here telling you love is about ';butterflies in your stomach'; are probably kids.
Of COURSE a real relationship is about choice! Do you honestly believe you make it through decades of marriage based on feelings? When you have a big fight and you ';feel'; like you want to kill your spouse, do you run right out and get divorced? Of course not, unless you're completely selfish and immature. You make a choice to stick with it through the good times and bad, knowing that you'll have both.
You'll notice that a wedding ceremony doesn't just say, ';Do you love each other? OK, great, you're married!'; No, they make you take a sacred VOW to stick together through good times and bad, sickness, health, richer, poorer, no matter what. Right from the start they spell it out for you that you're making a choice, and that your decision is going to be seriously tested over the years.
I think part of the confusion of your question is that you're assuming love is just a feeling, and you can't understand how you make yourself feel something. Yes, feelings are part of it, but your actions are the real measure of your love. Feelings can and will be over the map. Real love is more constant than that. Real love continues to show kindness, patience, support, etc even on the days when you don't feel like it.
Interestingly, though, in doing that you will often find that you CAN influence your feelings. If you have a spouse that's worth sticking with, even though he will often fall short of your expectations, you can choose not to hold a grudge. You can choose to do loving acts, the sort of special things you did for each other when you first fell in love. When you do loving acts, you'll find that the feelings, which may have waned, will often follow.
I also want to recommend ';The Five Love Languages'; by Dr. Gary Chapman very strongly.
I must also disagree with those here who say that love just happens. Love is a commitment, not just a feeling. Feelings pass, wane, change, and that instability of feelings will leave us disappointed. Staying committed, putting effort into maintaining and growing a loving relationship and understanding and speaking your loved one's languages (read the book to understand that) are what is needed now. Choose to do loving things for the special person in your life, even if you do not think your heart is ';in it.';
When you're rekindling a fire, you have to add lots and lots of very small sticks.
Try to do small things for each other. Don't expect too much too quickly. Even if he doesn't respond right away, he'll eventually see that it's the little gestures that make you happy. It can be done.
And yes, real love isn't about fluttery feelings. Fluttery feelings don't last.
Good luck x
u cannot choose them.......u have 2 follow ure heart....
you cant choose your loved ones. your heart does.
You can choose to see the best in them, but love can only happen naturally.
Love is not a choice. How you express your love is a choice. Relationships always involve choices and often difficult ones.
I fell out of love for w few days...I played the what if game with every scenario I could imagine...I finally realize the feeling of falling out of love with him was an emotional experiment preformed by my sub-conscious in order to overcome the trauma i had gone through as a child surrounding my parent's divorce. It was nasty and left far reaching scars. My children are now the age I was when the divorce occurred. This was an amazing realization that started the process of healing. Also if you have young kids you really do go through a time of 'weaning' them around 2-3 years old. I found that at this age they need more Independence and it's a balancing act of healthy ways to accommodate this process. For me it was a matter of filling the void and emptiness I had before I realized it wasn't my husband being distant it was my children leaving me feel that way. The dynamics just need to be adjusted.
What it comes down to is that attraction is a choice in that if you were ever in love with your husband you can have it again. If you are open to personal growth and he is as well. If you can talk openly with him it will come faster. I can promise you that the issues you need to work on inside you are the places to start. I asked God to show me love for my husband I woke up each morning asking to have that as my goal for the day...to see the ways my husband loves me and to simply be attracted to him.
I realized I never really fell out of love because when I cleared my mind of everything I found that just the safe place to fall at the end of the day in his arms was the most profound gift. Love yourself!
Love is a choice yes, but it doesn't mean that once you choose to love them the fluttery feelings come rushing back again. It means that during the times when you don't feel like you love them anymore you choose to stick it out with them anyways. You choose to be with them because you are commited to them even when you don't feel it. That's what real love is. Choosing to be committed even when you don't feel anything or when you don't necessarily want to. Couples that have been married for 30, 40, 50 years can understand what this means. Love is not a feeling. Love is sticking it out when the feelings may not be there because you made a commitment. Hope this helps.
Every relationship will go through times when they don't feel in love anymore. It's during those times that we choose to be with our spouse anyways. People have a very hollywood idea of what love is. When the fluttery feelings wear off people break up. That's why there is so much divorce now. People have the wrong idea of what love is. Love is choosing to work it out anyways because you made a commitment.
At times some of the the negative things about my spouse seem overwhelming and I wonder how I ever fell in love with him in the first place! But, there are many good qualities about him. If I choose to focus on the good things he does and not our differences, I realize I do still love him. Nobody is perfect, we're all human. It works as long as the good things about someone outweighs the not so good. Each person in a relationship must also be willing to try to alter any hurtful behaviors to the best of their ability.
Love in marriage ebbs and flows. What you choose is to wait out the bad times. In 22 years of marriage I've been passionately in love, less in love, bored, in love, passionate, bored etc. It goes in cycles. If he isn't cheating---try waiting it out. Feed the love yourself. Try to remember why you fell in love with him. Encourage him when he makes efforts (especially romantic ones). Marriage is DEFINITELY a two way street---make sure you analyse your own behaviour in the marriage too.
Well, for an answer like this, I will turn to the bible 1 Corinthians 13
';4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.';
Love its self is a choice, you have to choose to be patient, kind, to aviod envy, to not be selfish, to not be rude, and to forgive, these are all actions
There are 2 parts to love the physical and the emotional, thats why some people say you cant choose who you fall in love with, that would be you are physically atrracted first, and hormones rage you wrap your self up in that person, think about before your married, how smooth everything goes, you get butterflies when ';he or she'; calls you go out to dinner, take walks, always compliment eachother, sure there are bumps in the road, but at that moment you cant even imagine life without them, fats fowrd 6 years now your married, kids, stressed about finaces, job, and always running, you dont make time for one another and dont even feel connected-THATS WHEN YOU CHOOSE to love your husband/wife, when its so hard your flesh says give up, and instead you stay true to your commitment to one another, and DECIDE to work things out, rtather then throw in the towel.
Also remeber God is LOVE he loves us forgives us, DIED for us, but he gives us the CHOICE whether we love him back. He never forces it.
Thats the choices involved in love
I weigh my option of being married or divorce from her, my thoughts are it is cheaper to keep her.
I don't think it's a choice....it just happens. I don't think you just pick a person out of a crowd and choose to love them.
It may help if you think of love not as an emotion, as popular culture teaches us, but as a principal. You can choose to 'love' someone, that is, to behave toward them in a loving, caring, forgiving manner. Quite often, if we act like we love someone, the feeling follows the actions. In a normal relationship, that is then reciprocated. Your spouse feels love because of your actions, and remembers that he/she loves you. A relationship cannot become stagnant. We must continue to perform loving acts for each other. When we forget because of the press of life, we begin to take each other for granted, result is, we both feel taken for granted, romance dies. Occaisonal flowers or a box of chocolates, a concert together or roller skating. Baking your spouses favorite cookies of cinnamon rolls. Your undivided attention, reading a good book to each other. There is something called 'Love Languages', there are supposedly five. Gift giving, Words of encouragement, Physical touch and closeness, Acts of kindness, Quality time. We all have two major ones. These are the ways that we not only show love, but the things that make us feel most loved. One of the tricks is to discover our own and our loved one's. Blessed the couple who match!! We don't all. Then we can learn to realize the 'I love you' behind our spouse's actions that we didn't see before, and we can learn to say 'I love you' so they can hear us. Ideally this would prompt all sorts of wonderful conversations (Honey, I never realized that when you asked me to go fishing with you, you were saying 'I love you, I want to share with you'!! or Now I understand why it's so important to acknowledge your wonderful cooking, you're saying 'I love you' by fixing what I like for dinner.) and our spouse would learn to speak in our love language. Be patient!
All those little things that we did for each other when we were first seeing each other, we need to keep incorporating them into everyday life. A note in a briefcase or a lunch bag is a good one. Be silly with it sometimes. Aren't lovers supposed to be silly in love?
Please note that I am refering to a normal, healthy relationship. I do know of miracles that have taken place in destroyed relationships, where trust has been broken, then restored, but I am not talking about an abusive relationship. There is a different dynamic there. These tactics can make the relationship more liveable for you, but are probably not going to change the abuser.
I fell in love with my gf because I want to love her.
I choose to be in love because I think about what a good, consistent friend he is, what a good provider he is, and how well he treats our dogs. And he puts up with more **** from me than any other person possibly could ;)
I don't see ';love is a choice'; meaning choosing to fall back into love with someone. I see it as choosing not to fall out of love with them in the first place.
Presuming that we are not dealing with abuse, cheating, alcoholism, etc. then most marriages end when one or the other person just falls out of love. If you feel that coming on, there are steps you can take to change.
It might mean spending time together, or even short times apart. The advice column people call it ';rekindling';... finding that spark that you used to had and relighting it. Reminding yourself why you loved this person in the first place and are those reasons still true.
This could include special dates to get away from the kids, more talking and/or cuddling, couples counseling, choosing not to spend time with others who are detrimental to the relationship, etc.
Of course, this is all dependent on both partners being willing to work together.
Havent noticed these questions but sounds ridiculous to me. Love isnt a choice,part of why its so powerful. You can force a relationship but that dosent make it love. If your falling out of love you can re-evaluate and discover why and maybe rekindle that,like if things got too comfortable and taken for granted but you cant choose. Do you think women who are beaten with baseball bats choose to love their mean husbands? No, they love them but if they didnt theyd have more strength to try to get out bc they wouldnt be trying so hard to prove their love and commitment.
you cant choose to love them you can choose to forgive them of their shortcomings and then love will be easier
love is never a choice it happens but i also dont think that you can fall out of love with someone they may not be as big a deal as they once were but you still love him or you wouldnt be trying
just know you love him tell him when it feels like the words want to come out not a routine dont make ';i love you'; a responce thats terrible and it wont feel real
It's not so much a matter of choosing to be in love with your spouse. It's about making a choice to make your love work together. Many times in a marriage, you encounter things you don't understand in your spouse. Marriage is a growing endeavor, always evolving and working through things. You continue to grow and your spouse continues to grow. Sometimes people grow apart - and that's when the choice comes into play. You may be thinking differently than you used to and your spouse may not understand it, or it could be your spouse does something you don't understand. At that point - it's important to look deep into yourself and look - really look at your spouse and try to understand what has happened.
There's and old saying - ';Familiarity breeds contempt';. That phrase is something to ponder in a marriage and is often the cause of most break-ups. We get comfortable and forget to do the small things we used to do, or start to take the other person for granted. That starts to build up into bad feelings which can lead to disaster in a marriage.
It's very important to nurture the marriage, but if you find yourself in a situation where everything seems overwhelming and the only way is out - it's time to soul-search and remember why you fell in love. After that, you figure out what you need to do to recapture those early feelings. Your mate should be your best friend, and treated better than anyone else around you. The same applies to your mate.
The choosing to be in love means going through the soul-searching and deciding it is worth the effort to make it work. Through better or worse.
Good Luck.How do you choose to be in love with your spouse?
Any commitment is a choice. Falling in love is the easy part.
I recommend ';Five Love Languages'; www.fivelovelanguages.com
I choose to love my wife. I chose to marry my wife because she completes me. We are nearly exact opposites. She likes lists and is organized. I fly by the seat of my pants on most stuff. She panics before and during a time of crisis. I get through crisis and then fall apart. I'm easy going, she's uptight. I'm a squiggle, she's a square.
I love her for who she is, what she is, and how she is.
You have to choose to love what you're not.
Well if you feel like you have butterflys every time you see him ,hear him,or touch him ,thats a sign of love.At least for me anyway.Love is a feeling you have for some one.Its not really a choice.
you can't ''choose'' to be in love..it's just happens..
Love isn't a choice. Either you love someone or you don't.
Love is a choice because love is definitive. It is in daily acts of faithfulness like keeping the home clean for one another, cookin for one another, complimenting one another, giving to one another, bein considerate of one another, choosing to do these kinds of things is choosin ot express your love for your spouse. Thats how making the choice to love works.
';Fallin in love'; or ';falling out of love'; is not possible. Falling is itself usually not a choice but rather an accident Thus falling in love would be accidentaly lovin someone and that is not possible. Love is a choice.
You never know who you're getting your advice from on Y!A. Notice that the people who actually understand the concept of ';choosing to love'; someone tend to actually be married. The people here telling you love is about ';butterflies in your stomach'; are probably kids.
Of COURSE a real relationship is about choice! Do you honestly believe you make it through decades of marriage based on feelings? When you have a big fight and you ';feel'; like you want to kill your spouse, do you run right out and get divorced? Of course not, unless you're completely selfish and immature. You make a choice to stick with it through the good times and bad, knowing that you'll have both.
You'll notice that a wedding ceremony doesn't just say, ';Do you love each other? OK, great, you're married!'; No, they make you take a sacred VOW to stick together through good times and bad, sickness, health, richer, poorer, no matter what. Right from the start they spell it out for you that you're making a choice, and that your decision is going to be seriously tested over the years.
I think part of the confusion of your question is that you're assuming love is just a feeling, and you can't understand how you make yourself feel something. Yes, feelings are part of it, but your actions are the real measure of your love. Feelings can and will be over the map. Real love is more constant than that. Real love continues to show kindness, patience, support, etc even on the days when you don't feel like it.
Interestingly, though, in doing that you will often find that you CAN influence your feelings. If you have a spouse that's worth sticking with, even though he will often fall short of your expectations, you can choose not to hold a grudge. You can choose to do loving acts, the sort of special things you did for each other when you first fell in love. When you do loving acts, you'll find that the feelings, which may have waned, will often follow.
I also want to recommend ';The Five Love Languages'; by Dr. Gary Chapman very strongly.
I must also disagree with those here who say that love just happens. Love is a commitment, not just a feeling. Feelings pass, wane, change, and that instability of feelings will leave us disappointed. Staying committed, putting effort into maintaining and growing a loving relationship and understanding and speaking your loved one's languages (read the book to understand that) are what is needed now. Choose to do loving things for the special person in your life, even if you do not think your heart is ';in it.';
When you're rekindling a fire, you have to add lots and lots of very small sticks.
Try to do small things for each other. Don't expect too much too quickly. Even if he doesn't respond right away, he'll eventually see that it's the little gestures that make you happy. It can be done.
And yes, real love isn't about fluttery feelings. Fluttery feelings don't last.
Good luck x
u cannot choose them.......u have 2 follow ure heart....
you cant choose your loved ones. your heart does.
You can choose to see the best in them, but love can only happen naturally.
Love is not a choice. How you express your love is a choice. Relationships always involve choices and often difficult ones.
I fell out of love for w few days...I played the what if game with every scenario I could imagine...I finally realize the feeling of falling out of love with him was an emotional experiment preformed by my sub-conscious in order to overcome the trauma i had gone through as a child surrounding my parent's divorce. It was nasty and left far reaching scars. My children are now the age I was when the divorce occurred. This was an amazing realization that started the process of healing. Also if you have young kids you really do go through a time of 'weaning' them around 2-3 years old. I found that at this age they need more Independence and it's a balancing act of healthy ways to accommodate this process. For me it was a matter of filling the void and emptiness I had before I realized it wasn't my husband being distant it was my children leaving me feel that way. The dynamics just need to be adjusted.
What it comes down to is that attraction is a choice in that if you were ever in love with your husband you can have it again. If you are open to personal growth and he is as well. If you can talk openly with him it will come faster. I can promise you that the issues you need to work on inside you are the places to start. I asked God to show me love for my husband I woke up each morning asking to have that as my goal for the day...to see the ways my husband loves me and to simply be attracted to him.
I realized I never really fell out of love because when I cleared my mind of everything I found that just the safe place to fall at the end of the day in his arms was the most profound gift. Love yourself!
Love is a choice yes, but it doesn't mean that once you choose to love them the fluttery feelings come rushing back again. It means that during the times when you don't feel like you love them anymore you choose to stick it out with them anyways. You choose to be with them because you are commited to them even when you don't feel it. That's what real love is. Choosing to be committed even when you don't feel anything or when you don't necessarily want to. Couples that have been married for 30, 40, 50 years can understand what this means. Love is not a feeling. Love is sticking it out when the feelings may not be there because you made a commitment. Hope this helps.
Every relationship will go through times when they don't feel in love anymore. It's during those times that we choose to be with our spouse anyways. People have a very hollywood idea of what love is. When the fluttery feelings wear off people break up. That's why there is so much divorce now. People have the wrong idea of what love is. Love is choosing to work it out anyways because you made a commitment.
At times some of the the negative things about my spouse seem overwhelming and I wonder how I ever fell in love with him in the first place! But, there are many good qualities about him. If I choose to focus on the good things he does and not our differences, I realize I do still love him. Nobody is perfect, we're all human. It works as long as the good things about someone outweighs the not so good. Each person in a relationship must also be willing to try to alter any hurtful behaviors to the best of their ability.
Love in marriage ebbs and flows. What you choose is to wait out the bad times. In 22 years of marriage I've been passionately in love, less in love, bored, in love, passionate, bored etc. It goes in cycles. If he isn't cheating---try waiting it out. Feed the love yourself. Try to remember why you fell in love with him. Encourage him when he makes efforts (especially romantic ones). Marriage is DEFINITELY a two way street---make sure you analyse your own behaviour in the marriage too.
Well, for an answer like this, I will turn to the bible 1 Corinthians 13
';4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.';
Love its self is a choice, you have to choose to be patient, kind, to aviod envy, to not be selfish, to not be rude, and to forgive, these are all actions
There are 2 parts to love the physical and the emotional, thats why some people say you cant choose who you fall in love with, that would be you are physically atrracted first, and hormones rage you wrap your self up in that person, think about before your married, how smooth everything goes, you get butterflies when ';he or she'; calls you go out to dinner, take walks, always compliment eachother, sure there are bumps in the road, but at that moment you cant even imagine life without them, fats fowrd 6 years now your married, kids, stressed about finaces, job, and always running, you dont make time for one another and dont even feel connected-THATS WHEN YOU CHOOSE to love your husband/wife, when its so hard your flesh says give up, and instead you stay true to your commitment to one another, and DECIDE to work things out, rtather then throw in the towel.
Also remeber God is LOVE he loves us forgives us, DIED for us, but he gives us the CHOICE whether we love him back. He never forces it.
Thats the choices involved in love
I weigh my option of being married or divorce from her, my thoughts are it is cheaper to keep her.
I don't think it's a choice....it just happens. I don't think you just pick a person out of a crowd and choose to love them.
It may help if you think of love not as an emotion, as popular culture teaches us, but as a principal. You can choose to 'love' someone, that is, to behave toward them in a loving, caring, forgiving manner. Quite often, if we act like we love someone, the feeling follows the actions. In a normal relationship, that is then reciprocated. Your spouse feels love because of your actions, and remembers that he/she loves you. A relationship cannot become stagnant. We must continue to perform loving acts for each other. When we forget because of the press of life, we begin to take each other for granted, result is, we both feel taken for granted, romance dies. Occaisonal flowers or a box of chocolates, a concert together or roller skating. Baking your spouses favorite cookies of cinnamon rolls. Your undivided attention, reading a good book to each other. There is something called 'Love Languages', there are supposedly five. Gift giving, Words of encouragement, Physical touch and closeness, Acts of kindness, Quality time. We all have two major ones. These are the ways that we not only show love, but the things that make us feel most loved. One of the tricks is to discover our own and our loved one's. Blessed the couple who match!! We don't all. Then we can learn to realize the 'I love you' behind our spouse's actions that we didn't see before, and we can learn to say 'I love you' so they can hear us. Ideally this would prompt all sorts of wonderful conversations (Honey, I never realized that when you asked me to go fishing with you, you were saying 'I love you, I want to share with you'!! or Now I understand why it's so important to acknowledge your wonderful cooking, you're saying 'I love you' by fixing what I like for dinner.) and our spouse would learn to speak in our love language. Be patient!
All those little things that we did for each other when we were first seeing each other, we need to keep incorporating them into everyday life. A note in a briefcase or a lunch bag is a good one. Be silly with it sometimes. Aren't lovers supposed to be silly in love?
Please note that I am refering to a normal, healthy relationship. I do know of miracles that have taken place in destroyed relationships, where trust has been broken, then restored, but I am not talking about an abusive relationship. There is a different dynamic there. These tactics can make the relationship more liveable for you, but are probably not going to change the abuser.
I fell in love with my gf because I want to love her.
I choose to be in love because I think about what a good, consistent friend he is, what a good provider he is, and how well he treats our dogs. And he puts up with more **** from me than any other person possibly could ;)
I don't see ';love is a choice'; meaning choosing to fall back into love with someone. I see it as choosing not to fall out of love with them in the first place.
Presuming that we are not dealing with abuse, cheating, alcoholism, etc. then most marriages end when one or the other person just falls out of love. If you feel that coming on, there are steps you can take to change.
It might mean spending time together, or even short times apart. The advice column people call it ';rekindling';... finding that spark that you used to had and relighting it. Reminding yourself why you loved this person in the first place and are those reasons still true.
This could include special dates to get away from the kids, more talking and/or cuddling, couples counseling, choosing not to spend time with others who are detrimental to the relationship, etc.
Of course, this is all dependent on both partners being willing to work together.
Havent noticed these questions but sounds ridiculous to me. Love isnt a choice,part of why its so powerful. You can force a relationship but that dosent make it love. If your falling out of love you can re-evaluate and discover why and maybe rekindle that,like if things got too comfortable and taken for granted but you cant choose. Do you think women who are beaten with baseball bats choose to love their mean husbands? No, they love them but if they didnt theyd have more strength to try to get out bc they wouldnt be trying so hard to prove their love and commitment.
you cant choose to love them you can choose to forgive them of their shortcomings and then love will be easier
love is never a choice it happens but i also dont think that you can fall out of love with someone they may not be as big a deal as they once were but you still love him or you wouldnt be trying
just know you love him tell him when it feels like the words want to come out not a routine dont make ';i love you'; a responce thats terrible and it wont feel real
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